1.     A whole lot of crazy!

My Ex girlfriend tried to run me over with her crappy car. She chased me down an alley that had a high fence on one side and buildings on the other.

Crazy bitch then called me the next morning to tell me that I looked like a sexy tiger running away from her and asked if we could make up.  

2.     Faked being pregnant

Called me and told me we need to speak, right now. Uh oh. So I dropped what I was doing and came over, and she dropped a bombshell on me: She was pregnant. Then, after the most stressful half hour of my life, she told me she wasn’t actually pregnant and just wanted to see what I would do if she was. I noped out of that relationship immediately, by which I mean I continued seeing her for another month, because sticking your dick in crazy is still fun.

3.    Crazy smiling looney ex gf


        I broke up with my ex gf because she was acting to crazy for me.  My issue at first was that she was so freaking hot I didn't want to let her go.  When I finally told her she went into this crazy fit of rage, throwing things at me and trying to hit me with a golf club.  The scariest thing was she was smiling the whole time.  Overall she did about 3k worth of damage to my apartment.  All with a smile on her face.  Crazy Bitch!

4.  I unknowingly slept with my girlfriends mom and when my girlfriend found out she cut me with a knife.  

I was dating this great girl that I was in love with.  She was sexy, smart, funny and really good in bed.  After about 6 months we made the drive to upstate New York to meet her parents.  Neither my gf or I are on Facebook and when I walked into her parents house I saw a family picture of this older women that kind of looked like a woman I had a one night stand with (plus a few hot sexting sessions after) a few months before at one of those cougar bars where younger guys can meet older women.  Before I could process fully what the heck was happening her mom came down the stairs and I knew it was her right away.  I panicked and said "holy shit" out loud and she screamed a little bit too.  My gf didn't really notice.  However after a few hours of crazy heart racing awkwardness and trying not to look at my gfs mom I excused myself from the table and said I wasn't feeling well and went up to the bedroom we were suppose to stay in.  Her mom started to text me later that night saying what are we going to do and this is not good at all.  I was running on only 3 hours sleep from the night before and fell asleep after a few hours of being in bed but I didn't erase the messages from her mom.  My gf came to bed and with an apple and a knife to cut it with.  While I was sleeping my phone light up and it was a message from her mom that my gf saw that said you can never tell her about that night and I think you two should break up.  My gf lost her shit and in the a fit of rage she slit my arm open with the knife and I was cut for 15 stitches.  

I drove home alone from the hospital and till this day I still lie about how I got the scare on my arm.  

I am almost ashamed to say that I still jerk off to both of them sometimes still now 8 years later.



5.  My ex kidnapped my cat

     I broke up with my girlfriend because I wasn't enjoying our sex life and she didn't want to change it.  A few days later my cat I inherited from my grandmother after she passed away went missing.  I was upset and posted missing cat signs around the neighbourhood.  I met this older lady while i was taping a sign to a post and told her about the cat.  Strangely I got a call about 20 minutes later from that lady saying she just witnessed a suspicious woman quickly tearing down your missing cat signs.  When I asked her what this woman looked like she described my ex and her car exactly.  I went over to her house and when she opened the door my cat came running out.  My ex said she wanted to punish me for breaking up with her.......Not going to miss that one and her bad lay.

6.  My ex Gf sent our home made porn videos to my family and to everyone at work.  


I broke up with my ex after about a year of dating.  She was so mad and upset that she loaded our homemade sex tapes to a website and sent the links to everyone in my family and most of the people I work with.  The worse part is there was some boss/employee roleplaying filmed.  It made for a few very awkward meetings at work especially with my female boss.......At least the camera looked like it added a couple flattering inches.